Work(s) in Progress

HERS Summer Institute, Day 3

Wow.

I will write more comprehensively about this experience in the coming days but so far this HERS Denver Summer Institute is simply outstanding. My fears about potential competition between the participants was completely unfounded. I am surrounded by smart, ambitious, motivated women who want to become better leaders. I am awed by the amount of support, advice and help that people want to provide each other. I feel so incredibly inspired.

Our teachers are almost exclusively women who have served (or are serving now) as president or chancellor of their University or College. I admire their confidence, auras of competence, experiences and successes. In watching them, I realize I need better clothes, shoes, hair, make-up, and a professional manicure. All were incredibly fashionable and universally stressed how important that could be in the external relationships they needed to foster in the community.

Today the morning sessions focused on personal and career development stemming from understanding ones MBTI Step 2 type. (Yes, I'm still a prototypic INTJ but learned that I'm an open-ended and pressure-prompted one at that).  We spent a lot of time talking about how to convert our professional "responsibilities" into PAR (Problem-Action-Result) statements. This speaker, Judith Katz, one of the few women who has not been a University President, has published extensively on this technique (for example-Dissecting Accomplishments as a Career Compass). She recommends using this technique to convert a dry CV into a stunning resume of accomplishments as well as dissecting these accomplishments into one's core skills. We will be working with these techniques in later classes in the coming days and months of the program.

The afternoon sessions focused on organizational change and using the Bolman and Deal framework to assess problematic situations. The exercises we are doing are not just theoretical. For our September meeting we are to write up a case study of a "Change Challenge" that we are either facing now or should face in our organization. I have plenty to write about. The best part is that we will receive feedback and suggestions from the cohort of HERS attendees but also a current Chancellor and people in her consulting firm who work in change management. I may yet solve my organizational issues in a positive way.

HERS Summer Institute

A few months ago I applied to attend the Denver HERS Institute for Women in Higher Education. The goal of the program is to "offer 40 women faculty and administrators the opportunity to participate in an intensive leadership and management development program preparing them for institutional leadership roles in higher education administration." The application process was fairly arduous. I first had to ask my boss to nominate me attend. Then, I had to pre-apply internally as my institution had decided they would sponsor only two faculty members to attend. I was somewhat amazed that I made it through all of the pre-application hurdles and that my final application was accepted. Incredibly, my employer is covering the tuition and fees for me to attend this program. Huzzah.

The program starts this coming weekend. We have a week on-site where we will live in a campus dormitory and ideally form a cohesive cohort. Then there will be weekend trainings one a month for the next few months to finish the program. It's not as intensive as the month long Bryn Mawr Summer Institute, but fit my schedule better. Some of the curriculum looks lifted from my MBA classes but much of the focus is new, and geared toward special issues in Higher Education.

I had a conversation last week with the Director of Diversity and Equal Opportunity at my institution on other matters. I mentioned my excitement about attending this program but also my concern/confusion about whether single sex programs such as this one are still needed today. Given her position and age, I was a bit surprised that she agreed with me completely. Why not just offer training like this for people (male & female) who are interested in academic administration? How would we (as women) feel if a parallel, men only, program was offered? (we both suspected there would be outrage).  Note: I really want to participate in this Summer Institute (I need the training), but are single sex programs the best way to promote this? Are we not yet past this?

Such were my thoughts today when I came across this article on the continuing gender gap in US wages. The article started as follows:

About 10 years ago, a group of graduate students lodged a complaint with Linda C. Babcock, a professor of economics at Carnegie Mellon University : All their male counterparts in the university's PhD program were teaching courses on their own, whereas the women were working only as teaching assistants. That mattered, because doctoral students who teach their own classes get more experience and look better prepared when it comes time to go on the job market.

When Babcock took the complaint to her boss, she learned there was a very simple explanation: "The dean said each of the guys had come to him and said, 'I want to teach a course,' and none of the women had done that," she said. "The female students had expected someone to send around an e-mail saying, 'Who wants to teach?' "

The incident prompted Babcock to start systematically studying gender differences when it comes to asking for pay raises, resources or promotions. And what she found was that men and women are indeed often different when it comes to opening negotiations.

This article continues at some length. There were many surprises there for me. Men and women who ask for resources, promotions, or raises are treated differently depending both on the gender of the person asking but also based on the gender of the person being asked. The author concluded that women have learned that in some situations it is socially better (although perhaps not professionally better) to not ask for more than is offered.

This paragraph really stood out for me:

Although it may well be true that women often hurt themselves by not trying to negotiate, this study found that women's reluctance was based on an entirely reasonable and accurate view of how they were likely to be treated if they did. Both men and women were more likely to subtly penalize women who asked for more -- the perception was that women who asked for more were "less nice."

We are discriminating against our fellow women colleagues. While I can see this in perhaps high school, e.g. Mean Girls, or in certain professions such as acting, e.g. All About Eve, I was surprised to find this tendency to be so incredibly pervasive. If we do this to ourselves, why would we possibly expect the men we work with to be blind to our gender?

So now I am perhaps somewhat even more concerned about this same sex adventure that I am about to embark on. Will these 40 women become friends & mentors? Or will we somehow subtly lash out at each other penalizing each other for striving for more?

Sometimes my job is not fun

I think that people sometimes think that my job as the acting director of a biomedical research institute is somehow glamorous or exciting. People who know the realities of my job know better.

This week has been long. It started with the 2AM phone call Monday to inform me that the air conditioning in my work was not functioning. We use a local service to walk our building at night to ensure that all of the lab equipment is functioning appropriately. If a -80 C freezer goes down in the night, scientific careers can literally end. So, while we have some equipment on electronic monitors, we also pay to have human beings tour the facility. This week their services have been worth every dime.

In most places loss of an air conditioner would be inconvenient but not a disaster. However, we have some unique genetically engineered mice that model human disorders in our building. It would take years to replace or recreate some of these. Mice can survive cold much more easily than heat. Luckily, the mice survived the temperature spike and the temperature has been stable since then.

Mid-week, I got the same 2AM phone call this time telling me that there was some water on a basement floor & there appeared to be a leak. Luckily this turned out to be a humidifier problem in our ventilation system. Not a lot of water, no damage.

Today's 2 AM call was much more exciting. The walk-through person noticed a small amount of water on a laboratory floor that had damaged some card-board boxes that were stacked there. He could not tell where the water was coming from as the areas under the two nearby sinks looked dry. He could not tell me the room number and given the floor location I feared it was my laboratory. I dragged my husband with me to go see the problem.

We found this (click image for a larger view). Minor I thought, nothing to worry about and not my laboratory. We moved the wet boxes up on the counters & I notified the director of this laboratory so he could assess the damage. Whew. 

But then I decided that we should check upstairs (un-renovated floor) to see where the leak was coming from, since like the security folks, we could not find the source of the leak inside the laboratory. We found water pouring in from the ceiling and pooling in the hallway. I could have cried. Luckily we have many large rolling trash bins and I was able to put these under the major drip locations.

I realized that I needed to check that location (NE corner) in the building on every floor. The worst hit area was our conference room. The other laboratory floors had minimal leakage like the first picture. I think the floor drains on those floors help.

Luckily our facilities folks are on emergency pagers and their cell phone numbers are posted around the building. Within about an hour, a liaison was on site. We discovered that a roof drain had clogged and the pooled roof water was leaking in. The drain was re-opened and the rain had stopped so the flow of new water into the facility also  stopped. By the time I left a company that remediates water damage was on its way. My husband and I got home just as the sun was rising.

I just got a call from another scientist that the remediation was on-going (fans & dehumidifiers everywhere) and there did not seem to be any major areas of concern or damage. We got lucky.

My Start Up Life

I spent the last few days in Washington DC reviewing scientific grants for the government. My flight home gave me time to read Ben Casnocha's book, My Start Up Life.

I have been reading Ben's Blog since the summer of 2004. I bought his book partly because I wanted to read it, partly to support his efforts, and partly for the opportunity to win dinner with Ben. Two out of three isn't bad. I don't normally read auto-biographies but figured that since I enjoy his blog, that I would also enjoy his book. It's definitely a keeper.

The underlying narrative outlining how he started and grew his company Comcate is interspersed with lessons learned that he calls "Brainstorms." These sections are similar to many business books but they are all personalized based on Ben's experiences. There are also "Brain Trusts" written by some of Ben's mentors and friends that tie into the concepts of each chapter adding depth and a broader perspective. For the entrepreneur in each of us, Ben gives a lot of detail about how he approached some of those branch point decisions that can make or break companies: outsource or in-house, to hire an outside CEO or not, stay small or try to get big, boot-strap or take outside funding, and my personal favorite the long hard slog. Ben was blessed with the support of his family who facilitated his efforts while letting him pursue this dream. He has also cultivated an impressive team of mentors, advisors and friends.

I have to remind myself that Ben cannot yet legally toast his massive successes with a glass of champagne. This remarkable young man has started a successful business, traveled the world, written a book and soon will start college. What will he do next? I'll be reading his blog to find out.

You can learn more about Ben's book here.

When did I become we instead of me?

As I am putting together the materials I need to apply for my dream job, I realized that sometime in the past year or so I have lost the ability to call successes "mine." When I updated my CV to outline my duties, tasks, responsibilities and achievements, I  realized that I do nothing alone. Indeed, I had a friend and colleague look it over and he reworded many of the items to make the achievements sound more singular. Yes this makes for a stronger document and is how people in my position word things but I did none of them alone. None of these were my independent accomplishments. Even this application will be reviewed and revised based on the comments of people I respect and trust.

I was not always this way. For as long as I can remember, I preferred to do things by myself. Me. Alone. One of the hardest challenges I faced in business school was all of the forced team projects. Initially I was not certain whether I would survive the experience.

As a scientist, I do use the "we" pronoun in writing and talking about work being done in my lab. But like most scientists I know that if time were not an issue I could have done it all alone and the ideas were generally mine alone.  Thus, there is the retention of ownership for the success. They may have done the work but it was my idea. Mine.

For the last two years I have been heavily involved in two distinct group projects. Both stemmed from my going to business school in the first place. One is my involvement with a local biotechnology start-up company, Beacon Biotechnology, which was born from my efforts in a local business plan competition. The second is my role as the interim director of my research institute. In both of these organizations I literally do nothing alone. I may do a large percentage of the task at hand but some aspect will always have contributions from others. For almost all major decisions and tasks I do these days, I invariably start and end with a meeting. At times my life feels like a meeting. And yet, with many of these projects it would be next to impossible for a single individual to do it alone. No one person has all of the needed expertise or time to do everything. And thus the end product is better than any of us could have done alone. Ours.

I spent this morning watching the 7th annual Bard Center business plan competition presentations.  I remembered being one of the contestants two years ago. As a past winner of one of the awards, I often get invited to events like these. I love to go. It's so much fun sitting in the audience seeing these new business ideas be articulated. Today I spent a lot of the time thinking about how the business school experience changed me. The keynote speakers discussed the practicalities of teaching entrepreneurship and innovation. But to me the impact was so much greater: How I think; how I interact with others; how I approach solving problems; and how I consider the group impact and not just my own. Somewhere along the way I became we.

Resisting Change

Dave Cheong, who is writing again after taking break when his  child was born, wrote a wonderful article entitled Embrace Change, Your Life Depends on It. Wow.

There are very few people who naturally adapt to and embrace change. It is in our very nature to resist and fight. To keep the status quo. Change is scary. For those of us who like stability, all changes, even good changes, can be incredibly frightening. I fight this fear every day.

My own organization and I have been in a constant state of change since 2003. Acquisition by a local university. Changes in job expectations and duties. Change of Director. Death of Founder. Layoffs. Planned move to campus. More Layoffs. Search for a new Dean to oversee us all. I think it is fair to say that even those of us who are driving some of these changes feel a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of this process. Thus, Dave's article was incredibly timely. He introduced me to the Satir Change Model (link to an article by Steven M. Smith describing the model that is outstanding).

I found this specific image of the model (also Copyright by Steven M Smith) here.

My own organization is muddled in resistance and chaos (also known as the pit of despair). There are many transforming ideas, but they have yet to take hold to to be integrated. I strongly support all of the changes that have been happening as I can see how they will lead to the new status quo, which will be better, but it is hard to keep that in mind when one struggles with the chaos.

Let me end with a quote from Dave:

To change your life for the better, you have to introduce a Foreign Element, trigger or change agent. Shake things up. Do things differently. Adopt an improved mindset. Be a different person.

Your life depends on it.

potpourri

Late at night when I am too exhausted to sleep I browse vacations on-line. I need one.

My husband learned this week that he passed the Colorado Bar exam. Ho! Ho! Ho! He finished up law school in December and took the exam in February. Since then it's just been waiting. (I hate waiting). While I am thrilled and relieved for him, I am sad to say that his school had an abysmal passage rate. Only 53% of his peers passed the exam. Other schools in our region have a much better (90%) passage rate. So with him having passed the Colorado Bar and the Patent Bar, I am hoping that the job offers will start coming in. So if you know anyone searching for a harding working shiny new attorney who is interested in IP work, please let me know.

We are wrapping up the search for my new boss. Over the past few weeks we interviewed three candidates, each for two days. I am grateful to be on the search committee, to have a voice in this decision. The three candidates we brought in were all at the top of my personal list based on their resumes, vision statements, phone interviews and letters of recommendation from the larger pool of candidates. Each has a very different set of strengths and weaknesses. While I liked some of the candidates more than the others, I'm uncertain as to whether this matters. I think all of the candidates are good and could do the job. I suppose the hard part for me is that I enjoy working with my current boss. Yet this change is coming. In a few short weeks or months someone else will be in that role, but I cannot yet see any of these candidates in that role. I suppose that this is good in a way as I am unlikely to be disappointed by whomever is finally chosen.

The sheer scope of preparing a 50,000 square foot research facility for closure so we can move the labs to campus has been an incredible learning experience. I sit on a variety of regulatory committees at my University (Animal, Biosafety, etc) that help make research safe. However, I was not aware of the myriad rules involved with moving the tools for these things from one place to another, on public roads. Some of these things are regulated internally, by the state, by the feds and in some cases by the city. I have been trying to create a document for the laboratory staff that addresses most of the major issues. Luckily, another university has also been moving laboratories from one campus to another and had many documents which I could modify for our use. One major concept that I've learned over the last month that is critical to building out our new laboratory space correctly is that of the "air plenum". We have certain work spaces that cannot have the air shared with other spaces and need to be negative to the the halls and other rooms. Thus, you can seal off the room, above the ceiling tiles, to enclose the "air plenum" to prevent this contamination. Neat.

Not much I can say on the biotech front. The technology is progressing nicely. Many hours have been spent with investors. Several have asked for our PPM recently which is promising. There are bursts of activity and then it gets quiet for a few days or weeks. We spent Saturday with a potential collaborator/competitor who asked very pointed questions about our technology, our business model and our competition. It reminded me of being in graduate school, the hostile Inquisition challenging the precious hypothesis. It was nice to be mostly an observer and note taker. There is a local man who would like to step in as CEO. He's had a lot of experience in CEO jobs with larger companies taking devices through FDA approval. I think his experience and expertise would be helpful but as with the search for my new boss above, I have very mixed feelings. I like the person we have now with whom I've been working with for the last few years.

I had an odd conversation with a colleague the other day. He said to me "Cathy, you've taught me that sometimes it is the low hanging fruit that tastes the sweetest." It's oddly accurate. I do generally like and value very much what I have and what is available (possible) and yet I am always striving for more, better, shinier.

I have a hard time admitting, even to myself, the things I really want. I applied to attend this HERS institute in Denver in the Fall. DU will be sending two faculty to attend. Although I have an incredibly non-traditional position, I am really hoping to attend.

My Nana (mom's mom) is losing her mind to Alzheimer's disease. She is my last living grandparent. I do not have anything lasting, aside from pictures, for my other grandparents so I started a separate blog about my Nana. My mom has been sending me Nana stories for years. I wished I had saved them all. I have begun to collate them all here. Ultimately I will intersperse more research and development into it, but for now it is a real time look at the ups and downs of living with a person with Alzheimer's each day.

Fitness. Pfft. Pants are tight. I started lifting weights again this past week. Diet is OK in content but not volume. I know what to do I am just not spending enough time doing it. I think for me it all starting falling apart when I stopped tracking every gram of food, every minute of activity. I thought I was getting OCD about it but I think it it is necessary for me. The only thing missing is the time where I will fit it in but it looks like my schedule is only going to stay crazy so I just need to find a way. When I was teaching I kept telling myself, things will ease up when the Quarter is over. But now it's time move a 50,000 sq foot building. When that's done surely something else will spring up in its place. Look for a formal plan soon, although I may track it all on my muscle tank profile. It's pretty boring to read about 5 meals of chicken and asparagus with a workout tossed in. But I need the public math for some odd reason.

February was long

My schedule is not quite free enough to get back to posting regularly but this past month warranted a post all of its own.

Teaching: There are only two more weeks left in this 10 week quarter. Teaching 1 hour per day, four days a week to 90+ students is hard. It's the first time I've taught this course. I was overly optimistic about how much material could be covered in a 10 week sophomore level class. On average it takes me 3-4 hours to prepare each 1 hour lecture. It's also a 20-30 minute drive from my laboratory to the classroom. I generally meet with 3 or4 students per week for up to an hour each. After 8 weeks of me evaluating them, next week they get to evaluate me. I am tired. On the plus side, my public speaking phobia has just about disappeared.

Body for Life: I was completely over-optimistic about my schedule when I signed up for the BFL cruise challenge. I am the same as when I started. Well, perhaps my arms are even scrawnier but overall my clothes fit and the scale has not moved. I suppose this is a success overall given my general lack of activity and my lack of focus on fitness. I have been sneaking in this fun and FAST workout I found on Skwigg's blog about 4 times a week. Definitely not optimal. Teaching ends March 15, new fitness program to start after I grade all of the final exams and get final grades posted.

Science: A colleague in Philadelphia invited several of us to meet with her to discuss a possible collaborative effort. We all have projects trying to identify genetic differences that can prevent or delay the onset of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) in transgenic mice. It was terrific to talk with others and to plan on working together to make the work go more quickly and efficiently. This colleague also runs a non-profit in support of ALS which sponsored all of us to travel to this meeting. One of the best things about this short weekend trip was that I was able to pick up some light fiction in the airport with which to divert myself. Dirty Blonde helped to pass the time.

I have written before about how difficult is has become to win federal grants for research these days. For many scientists the outlook is distinctly bleak. I've had a guest scientist in my laboratory for the last 5 years or so. He's an attending neurologist at a local hospital who has been working nights, weekends and holidays (for free) in my laboratory to try to create enough preliminary data to submit a successful proposal. This month he got the scores and reviews of his latest proposal. His grant is in the top 3.5% of all grants. I am so incredibly delighted for him that his efforts have FINALLY paid off. Even with the funding line hovering between 5 and 7% this grant should win.

Miscellaneous: I was in my very first car accident. Note: I am not counting the time that I backed my uncle's truck into a brick building and dented his bumper. This was much more exciting. I was driving home from the airport at about 9PM at about 60 mph when another car hit my car. The impact caused my car to do a 180 on the highway. The next thing I knew my car was sliding down the cement barrier (I'm glad it was there) going backwards, several lanes over from where I started. The car which hit me drove off. Luckily, only my car was damaged. Furthermore, no other vehicles were involved. Several very nice people who witnessed this stayed around to tell the police what had happened since I really did not "see it." Unfortunately no one got make, model or license plate number of the car which hit me.  A veritable sea of police, ambulances and fire trucks came within 3-4 minutes of my 911 call all to ensure that I was indeed OK. Thank you Aurora.

Interestingly, my life did not flash before my eyes. Indeed, I think I shut my eyes on impact.  My first instinct was to phone home if only I could remember how to use the cell phone. I felt more like I envision the computer does after a blue screen of death hard reboot. Name? Phone number? Place of employment? Please wait while my system reboots.

This experience led to my very first interaction (beyond me sending them checks) with my insurance company. While I don't have my car back yet, so far, this experience has been outstanding. Progressive has a relatively novel concierge service. You have the vehicle towed (or if drivable driven) to their service center. They have an Enterprise rental service on-site which bills Progressive directly for the rental. They also line up all of the damage appraisals, find the repair shops, etc. For example, I have no idea whether my suspension repair will be taken care of by the same people sanding and repainting everything. When the car is back in perfect condition you pick it up, return the rental and pay your deductible at that time. The work performed is apparently guaranteed for as long as you own the vehicle. 

My rental has an automatic transmission. I've never owned a car with anything but standard. Oh how I love the automatic during rush hour.

My husband, who recently finished law school, took the Colorado Bar Exam on February 27 and 28. Two days 8 to 5. One day is all essay and the other is multiple choice. Apparently there were many fewer people on the second day. I'm crossing my fingers. He passed the patent bar exam back in the fall so I am optimistic about his success here. Now he just needs to find a job opportunity he loves.

My  friend Martha hosted a terrific event called "Mountain Mardi Gras" which this year had a Harry Potter theme. You can see pictures of some of the terrific costumes here and here. My husband and I dressed as muggles (i.e. no magical costumes). It was a fun event for a great cause (saving lives and limbs...literally).

And finally, last night (OK we're into March now), I attended an event here (click to make bigger). I grabbed this image off of Google maps or Zillow or something similar. Even in winter the fountain and the long elaborate water fall were functioning. I have never before been in such a breath-taking home.

Short Blog Hiatus Needed

I am swamped. Short blog hiatus between now and March 15 may be coming.

During this 10 week quarter where I am teaching a class with 90+ students four days a week, the fluff time in my schedule is completely gone. It takes me about 3 to 4 hours to prepare each 1 hour lecture. I don't want to even confess how long it takes me to grade 90+ exams. It takes a similar amount of time to create each weekly homework assignment and upload it to the online classroom. It's a classroom based class but I put all of the lectures and homework online to make it easier for the students. Book and lecture confusing? How about an interactive FLASH demo of the covered material? Technology rules. Fortunately the publisher provides many of these resources to instructors.

While teaching is taking the majority of my time right now, I still need to fit in my administrative duties and keep my laboratory going. Fortunately, I'm blessed with great staff in my lab. My head technician has been with me for a number of years now. She has great skills and also reads my mind. Truly. I literally could not ask for more. She is watching over our guest scientist, our graduate student & our new tech. A colleague in Philadelphia is trying to create a consortium of those of us doing similar experiments. She is flying us together in mid-February to share data and formulate a strategic plan for getting our work done in a coordinated fashion.

There is lots going on behind the scenes in my life as an administrator (all of that I know but I can't say stuff). If I am lucky, it will stay behind the scenes until my class is over.

BFL Cruise Challenge: diet is on target. Exercise has leaned heavily toward the shoveling snow variety. I am time challenged and yes my other responsibilities currently trump even my desire to win. Did you know that you could still create DOMS if you do one legged squats through an entire shower? Note: except when shaving legs, I'm not that coordinated. Last weigh in 130.8 so down a few pounds. My pants are looser.

The current issue of Fortune magazine had the following cover "Drink Wine and Live Longer." Can red wine help you live forever? Personally I don't want to live forever, but I do love my red wine.

Interesting things you may want to read about while I'm away:

• Other fitness blogs: irene, amyella, kyra, julie, nico maggie, yoga girl, etc. see my list on the right frame.
• Fun stuff in entrepreneurship: Tech Stars, summer 07 Boulder. This is so unbelievably cool. What a great educational opportunity. Application deadline 62 days.
• Watch the train wreck. I am addicted to this blog.

Quiet

I know but I can't say. Why is it that when people are tasked with keeping certain facts quiet they like to share them with me? Do I just have one of those faces?  On the one hand, I feel a certain pleasure in being trusted with information, being in the "inner circle." On the other hand, since I am fundamentally forthright in nature, I struggle, especially if the information I have been gifted can impact others who have not yet been told. I understand that some information is such that it must be released in the appropriate time, place & by the appropriate person but I find the waiting challenging, quiet.

Cruise Challenge: last weight in 131.0. My diet is good; I am not lifting weights as much as I should. My clothes are fitting better. I signed up for a free fitness teleseminar and ended up with a copy of Turbulence Training for Women. It looks very similar to BFL but with a focus on workout intensity. Since I have a tendency to go easy, I plan to try some of the workouts. I need something to improve my commitment.

Teaching: I am currently teaching 97 students general genetics 4 days per week. It seems as though half of the students are keeping up and doing well. They are perhaps a bit bored. The other half are struggling. I learned recently that not all students have equivalent fundamental skills. For example, one student had difficulty adding 1/2 + 1/4. I am not sure this student will survive some of the mathematics needed for the class: Bayesian analysis, chi square analysis, LOD scores, and Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium. It is difficult in a class of 97 to get class participation, especially from those who are falling behind; they are simply too embarrassed to ask their questions in front of the group. I wish they would as I suspect that many could benefit from hearing the answers. However, a large auditorium is not conducive to having significant participation or one on one interactions. I do have a tendency to end a few minutes early which makes the students more likely to at least ask their questions after class. I have noticed some will stay to hear the Q & A even if they don't actively participate. Students may hate the assessment piece (i.e. testing) but is the only way I will learn whether they are learning the material.

For Christmas, my husband got me the complete Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Seasons 1 to 7. I think I starting watching the show in season 4 or 5, but never saw any of the early shows. I am completely addicted. I'm currently watching season 2 which is simply outstanding. Now all I need are the complete 9 seasons of the X-files (I'm waiting for the price to come down), The Pretender, for the studios to release Cupid (one of the best TV shows ever) to DVD, and perhaps Angelto complete my Buffy-verse collection. It's probably obvious that I stopped watching television completely a few years ago.

SAD: Season Affective Disorder affects about 15% of the population, mostly women. It's snowing again. I feel blue. I've lived in Colorado since 1995. In that time I've experienced on average 300+ sunny days a year. If the snow hits it generally melts within a day or three. This winter has been unique. Three large storms in as many weeks. Cities are running out of places to put the plowed snow. We are currently in a frigid, gray, period of snow flurries. When I lived in Cleveland for college, I struggled with the winters. I survived only by the grace of the UV lamps in tanning salons: great for my mood, terrible for my skin. Sun & bright light needed here. Please send soon.