July 17, 2008

Managing by Strengths

Last week I was invited to learn more about Managing by Strengths. With a short series (truly short - less than 10 minutes) of questions, it creates a profile that is similar to both the Insights discovery profile (I'm a "reforming observer" -more here) and the Myers-Briggs type indicator (I'm an INTJ).

You might be able to see my profile here (I'm not sure how long they leave the results active). Mbs The interesting thing about MBS is that it measures the stretch you feel you are making to perform your job. I work on being less direct and more extroverted to try to be better at my job. Egad I am direct by nature. I know this but it is still funny to read.

Description of Strengths:(RED Color Code)
Results oriented, candid, hard driver, innovative, decision maker, big picture, convincing teller, positive, primary concern is getting things done, self confident with people, needs to be in control, competitive, quick thinker, can delegate details, holds on to authority, needs elbow room in which to work. Additional Information is available about your Self, Adjustment and Role Profiles.

Combination of Strengths:
D/E: Candid, teller, analytical, creative.
D/P: Driver, self-starter, wants results quickly, competitive.
D/S: Very independent, very self-confident.
E/P: Fast, fluent communicator.
S/P: Detail and organizational tendencies, loyal, Corporate Hook.

Motivation by Strengths:
D (51): control, challenge, money
E (16): opportunity, recognition, status
-P (-51):variety
-S (-19): independence

Logic: Fact oriented.

Communication by Strengths:
You appreciate people who are direct and candid, allow you to make decisions, challenge you, and give you freedom to operate.

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If you are in Colorado and want to learn more about how Managing by Strengths can help your organization, contact Cate Lawrence.

July 10, 2008

Be Extraordinary

I love my job. Tomorrow I get to meet Gregg Vanourek, one of the authors of Life Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives. I'm hoping that Gregg will be able to inspire our students in the Fall. What is Life Entrepreneurship? It is creating a life of significance through opportunity recognition, innovation and action. Leading an entrepreneurial life can change your experience from ordinary to extraordinary.

In this same theme, there is Chris Guillebeau's blog on the Art of Non-Conformity. I recently stumbled across his manifesto, A Brief Guide to World Domination - How to Live a Remarkable Life in a Conventional World (pdf). This brief (29 page) article starts with the premise that "You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to." That's the core. If you don't have time for the full 29 pages, you can start with his post on The Decision to be Remarkable.

That's it really. Want to change the world? Just decide, then act. Everything else follows.

July 02, 2008

Welcome to my mid-life crisis, part 1

I've been wanting a new car for the last year or so. Whenever I would sit in traffic, I would promise myself that my next car would be an automatic. I have only ever had cars with standard transmission. I know from my old car, that I loved my leather heated seats in the winter, and that the black leather was too hot for summer. I also loved the turbo on my old car. And because this is my mid-life crisis car, I really wanted a convertible. But, since I only wanted to have one car, I wanted a retractable hard top so I could drive it year round.

Behold my new Eos Lux.

  • Leather heated front seats, not black
  • Retractable hard top
  • Automatic
  • 2.0 Turbo

Eos1

Eos was the Greek goddess of the dawn, and this car certainly lets the sunrise in.

You can build your own on the VW website.

June 29, 2008

S&M in the office

One of my favorite things about Amazon is that books are recommended based on your browsing history or prior purchases. I read a lot of business books - generally themed toward entrepreneurship & innovation or management. Recently I've been reading more books targeted to women in management positions in male dominated organizations. And speaking of books, I really want a Kindle.

The two I've read most recently The Corporate Dominatrix: Six Roles to Play to Get your Way at Work and Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Tactices from a Woman at the Top have both had an S & M Theme.

Now granted, in Seducing the Boys Club, the S & M is defined as "Seduce and Manipulate" and is an autobiographical history of one woman's rise to the top of her company. This book is entertaining and filled with advice and suggestions. Some of it the advice is so over the top I found myself laughing, often. Here's an example:

"One of the great tools, or weapons, we have as women is flirting, and men always respond well to positive attention. If you know you are going to a contentious meeting with a man, you can defuse his anger before he even opens his mouth. Unless he is morbidly obese, there is no man on earth who won't puff up at this sentence:

"Wow, you look great. Been working out?"

Or if you "accidentally" touch a man's arm while you are talking about something serious, you can interrupt yourself with a quick show of admiration:

"Wow, your arm is like steel. Been working out?"

I know, I know, it's obvious and underhanded, but is always works."

Um, you've got to be kidding me.

My favorite parts of this book are where the author shares her missteps - what the situation was and how she handled it badly. Almost always, she will share how she turned it around - a process that might have taken weeks, months or years. These are truly illuminating case studies, almost all written in the humorous tone above.

The corporate dominatrix is written in a more traditional way, and is built around the more common definition of S & M. The goal is to not become either sadistic or masochistic but to use the lessons of S&M to become an effective corporate dominatrix.

What are the characteristics of a Corporate Dominatrix you might ask?

  • Has clear boundaries; does not allow others to restrict or violate boundaries
  • Conveys thoughts and opinions directly & clearly
  • Expresses gratitude and appreciation graciously
  • Uses direct eye contact, sturdy posture, assured gestures.

Who doesn't want to be her!

The author defines six common fantasy archetypes to discuss when each management style (and what type of power to use) would be most appropriate so that one can become a "Corporate Dominatrix".

These are:

  • The Goddess - personal power
  • The Queen - positional power
  • The Governess - expert power
  • The Amazon - coercive power
  • The Nurse - healing power
  • The Schoolgirl - borrowed power (referent power)

This framework is interesting and useful. Most of us have a preferred archetype or three with which we are most comfortable with the others underdeveloped. I definitely have a few I need to work on. I called a mentor a few weeks ago for advice. I was getting ready for a meeting and knew my inner Amazon was ready to do battle but I also knew she was absolutely NOT the archetype who was needed for the meeting. I had not yet read this book, but I can now see that my mentor was trying to persuade my inner Amazon to become a Queen for the meeting. Interesting.

June 22, 2008

Meet my Alter-Ego

Back in about 2000, my not yet husband gave me my first computer game, Asheron's Call. It's one of those massively multiplayer on-line role playing games (MMORPGs). I've been playing essentially continuously since the fall of 2000. It's one of those games where every month the developers provide new content via the monthly patch or update. There have also been two major updates to the game since release. It's quite different than when I first started.

My first real character, Tarma, was born January 23, 2001 on the world of Winter's Ebb. I spent quite a lot of time in game with her - 3 months, 4 days, 16 hours and change (yes more than 800 real life hours with just this one character were spent in game). She has a very big house (err mansion) and more belongings than I realized as I tried to consolidate two accounts today. Each account can have 6 or 7 characters each of whom can carry many items. So while I have many characters spread on various worlds, my real avatar is Tarma, shown here looking at her in game home. Somehow she ended up being a Monarch.

ScreenShot00000

Like many MMORPGs, Asheron's Call has allegiances. Egad, if you are responsible at all you end up an officer with additional responsibilities; it can be like a 2nd job "running" a guild. I was in several guilds over the years. Guild politics are identical to office politics if you are curious. Management styles vary.  It is probably great leadership experience running some of the guilds of 1000's. Some run well for years while others implode after just months. This game is somewhat unusual in that many women play (not just teen boys role-playing women) as do many working professionals in their 30's and 40's.   

It's funny, I've met several people from this virtual world. Some have become real world friends. I think for me, the best thing that Asheron's Call did was teach me to talk to strangers. I could not do this when I started. But in Asheron's Call, many quests could not be done solo; team efforts were needed. You had to talk to and work with strangers to move forward. So many conversations started "Hi [toon name], want to do a quest together?" or "Hi, want to join my allegiance?" or "Hi, let's go try that new quest..."

Somehow this experience has made it infinitely easier for me to walk up to a complete stranger with a smile on my face to say "Hi, I'm Cathy..."

I canceled one of my accounts today. There just has not been time recently to play. I suspect I may cancel my main account soon. I will miss Tarma but I think it's time for her to fade away. Of course I did just make sure I could cover 6 more months of rent payments on the mansion but it's time to let her go. I think I'll miss her. She was pretty much invincible.

May 24, 2008

I am an ant

I was chatting with my brother last night.

He told me the story of the Ant & the Grasshopper. It's an old Aesop fable that I'd never heard before.

Æsop. (Sixth century B.C.) Fables. The Harvard Classics. 1909–14. The Ant and the Grasshopper

IN a field one summer’s day a Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to its heart’s content. An Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn he was taking to the nest. 

 “Why not come and chat with me,” said the Grasshopper, “instead of toiling and moiling in that way?”

 “I am helping to lay up food for the winter,” said the Ant, “and recommend you to do the same.”

“Why bother about winter?” said the Grasshopper; “we have got plenty of food at present.” But the Ant went on its way and continued its toil. When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food, and found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing every day corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer.

Then the Grasshopper knew: “IT IS BEST TO PREPARE FOR THE DAYS OF NECESSITY.”

There are many other versions, each with their own spin, that can be found.

We have a grasshopper in the family but we are simply ants.

Even an ant's heart can break.

May 13, 2008

Healthy Organizations

If you have been reading here a long time, you know that I am a big fan of Steven M. Smith who I first discovered not quite a year ago when I was pondering some major organizational changes.

In response to my most recent post on What Not to Say, he left me a long and thought provoking comment that I thought was worth highlighting as a separate post.

Moving on to the broader issue of organizational culture, let me introduce you to the five freedoms that Virginia Satir believed created healthy organizations:

  1. The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what should be, was, or will be
  2. The freedom to say what you feel and think, instead of what you should
  3. The freedom to feel what you feel, instead of what you ought
  4. The freedom to ask for what you want, instead of always waiting for permission
  5. The freedom to take risk on you own behalf, instead of choosing to be only "secure" and not rock the boat

If you want to stay healthy, I suggest you closely monitoring which freedoms you are sacrificing in order to fit into your organizational culture. How many of these freedoms are you sacrificing now? How is that working for you (how do you feel about making those sacrifices)? I think you have encountered the foreign element. Will you choose to maintain the status quo? During chaos, It helps me to remember that adults are children grown up, which gives me permission to play.

The first thing that struck me about this comment was "I want to work there." My second thought was "why the heck don't all organizations (or families) operate this way?" My third and perhaps more actionable thought was "how can I help my organization or at least my little piece of our organization embrace these values?"

Steven M. Smith is coming to Denver for the Virginia Satir Global Network 2008 World Conference. While I don't know that I can attend the whole conference, you can be certain that I'll be signing up for his session on Experiencing the Satir Change Model.

May 05, 2008

What not to say

One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is what not to say.

I default to candid. If you ask, my first instinct is to answer as truthfully and completely as I can.

  • Some people appreciate this - you will always know where you stand with me.
  • Some people abhor this - they really do not want to know.
  • Some people try to exploit this - they probe and query trying to get me to leak confidential information or to say something unprofessional that can be used by them later. Heck I can even know they are the enemy (or at least not my friend) and my gut instinct is still to be honest and candid. I can just see it...why hello mr. rapist, yes indeed my husband won't be home for hours.

Bottom line, my gut response is not appropriate at least two thirds of the time, most likely more. There are traits and habits than can become detriments over time. This is one for me and it was hammered home forcefully this week.

Case #1 - In a meeting earlier this week, I added too much value. I know not to do this but when push came to shove I could not keep my mouth shut. My mentor pulled me aside after this meeting to remind me of this rule. Listen. Thank. Implement (or in this case, go forward with what we already had planned letting this person think they fostered it).  Oops. Major oops.

Case #2 - Person in position of power had a chat with me recently about things to not say, to not even think. I can work on the not saying. The not thinking is unlikely. Things pop into my brain all of the time that are not appropriate. I can refrain from speaking them. I might even be able to dig up some appropriate politeness words at the right times. My brain however could well be playing a discordant sound track. How do you not even think stuff?

Must be why I love the refrain in the song by Staind "Outside."

I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you

Please don't ask what crosses my mind. Not always pretty. Please judge me by my actions.

Case #3 - Friend sent me this image today. Timely advice that I will try to follow in the coming days. Wish me luck!

Rule_1

April 25, 2008

Accountability, Mentors, Productivity

I find myself thinking often about the relationships between accountability, mentors, coaches and productivity. My thoughts are half-formed, still percolating. I am hoping that writing them down will give them some structure.

I have frequently admitted my admiration for Ben Casnocha in the past. He has had two recent posts related to my thoughts on accountability, mentors and productivity: Six Habits of Highly Effective Mentees and Should you take notes in a one-on-one meeting? In my briefcase I have about 10 pounds (I wish I were exaggerating) of meeting notes and materials to transcribe into my Google Notebook. Obviously I agree 100% with his idea of taking notes at every meeting. Ben is a bit more savvy than I realizing that "Also, if you are taking notes but your partner is not, a subtle power dynamic can emerge (ie, the person taking notes is less than the person not taking notes)." I may be twice Ben's age but my response to this is "whatever." It's not about the power for me but the knowledge. I'll take that any day over some posturing.

It is only recently that I realized the value of the mentors in my life. I am and have been blessed with wonderful mentors. Currently, I have an amazing advisory council; several of the members have stepped into mentorship roles in various ways.  As you might expect, just about everyone has strong opinions on how I should do my job (especially since I am a women and they are mostly men but that's a post for another day). As you might also expect, these strong opinions vary considerably and are often mutually exclusive. This of course makes it quite interesting as the mentee. Early into my new job there were many people that I met with frequently from whom to seek  advice, but in the last few months there is only one.

Why that one you might wonder?  So much of the mentor-mentee relationship depends on chemistry and timing: a combination of where you are & what you need and whether it's a good personal fit. There are so many reasons. Some are related to power both personal and professional. If I have a single innate skill it is the ability to pick those people with the most power in room out like beacons in the night. They simply shine brightly and I am attracted to the light like a moth to flame. Like they'd say in Firefly, shiny. But it is certainly not only that or even mostly that. The one I chose, or perhaps he chose me, held me accountable. Did I follow through on his advice? Did I hit that next milestone? There is a power is knowing that someone is watching, and expecting you to follow through. For me at least, there is power in knowing that someone will check in to ensure that I have made progress since the last meeting. I am pressure prompted. I need deadlines. So the fact that there is a person helping me to set the next goal, the next target, with a deadline (i.e. by our next meeting...) makes me incredibly focused and productive. These items are first on my list. They are done on time. I will be held accountable if progress is not made. I feel so much more productive and effective with this combination of mentorship and accountability.

My only concern is how to ensure that this mentor does not become my "Linus Blanket." What's the transition? In academia, there are clear breaks from one's mentors: the awarding of the PhD, the transition from post-doc to faculty, etc. These are very clear milestones on well worn paths. In life, there is so much more gray. I have had a number of relationships turned upside down in the past. A boss of mine for more than a decade ended up reporting to me for a few years. Another boss of mine now serves as a peer (or according to some, subordinate to me) on a scientific project. These can be uncomfortable transitions for those concerned of power and title.  While one can find much advice on the mentor-mentee relationship, there is less to be found on that transition period from mentee to peer. How does one raise up the mentee to peer? When does one set the mentee free?

These questions are a major reason I was phobic about recruiting graduate students. I did have one briefly but handed her off to  person more suited to the role. In my new job, I am surprised still when students come to me for advice (/waves if any are reading). I met with two today. It is such a fun part of my job that I did not anticipate. Partly there is a shared camaraderie since I have taken many of their classes and have been down this path recently. Partly it is because they often love the program and praise our teachers and offerings. I love this. One today stopped in because she was curious and wanted to meet me. She was fun. We spoke for an hour of our wonderful teachers and discussed ways to make the program even better. The other was a scientist taking a few classes with us, who is about to do our business plan competition. I think he really just wanted some reassurance that it was OK to look off the well worn career path. Really it's OK. Fun even.

About a decade ago I met an incredible women. She baffled me. Her career path was unique. She'd been an attorney. Did most of business school. Worked in a variety of legal and CFO roles. By the time I met her, she was into temp work. She'd come in as a temp - VP, CEO, CFO, etc to help during transitions. She rarely stayed in a job longer than 18 months. She never thought past the current job yet she was rarely out of work. At the time I met her and even until a few years ago, I did not understand her tolerance for and enjoyment of the uncertainty. I saw her a few weeks ago at a fund raising event. I said to her "I'm off my path; I no longer have a 5 year plan; I have no idea what the future holds; I feel so liberated." She smiled and said "Isn't it great?"

April 13, 2008

Do It Tomorrow

I should confess. I am pressure prompted. Give me a tight deadline I'm your gal. Otherwise, I am prone to procrastination. Somewhere in the many blogs I read I came across Do it Tomorrow and Other Secrets of Time Management and thought this is the book for me (note for quick delivery in the USA order it from one of the discount sellers).

Alas, this is not a book for procrastinators. Instead, this book is all about prioritization. How do you decide what to do today and what can safely be postponed until tomorrow? How can you optimize your time to do it all? How are you wasting time so that not everything gets finished each day?

Almost all of the secrets in this book are summarized on page 0, before the book even starts. But, for me there are several gems. Let's talk about lists. I love to-do lists. I live for crossing items off my list. Did you know that "closed" lists are about a gazillion times more effective than "open" lists? I've always kept open lists. I add items constantly to the things I need to get done but the list grows and grows. A closed list is finite. The only thing it can do is get shorter and ultimately completed. How novel, how inspiring, a list that gets finished. The author strongly supports multiple closed lists.

The premise of this book is almost ridiculous and yet it interests me. Toss all of the undone items into yesterday's closed list. Do all of the current items from today & peck away at yesterday. In theory, with good time management, you do indeed have enough time and then some to get through your daily tasks leaving time to peck away at the old stuff. It is essential to finish your lists each day. At some point, all of the old is gone, you are current on the new and life is grand. In my current reality, some of the day to day stuff has slipped past due so that I can focus on future oriented tasks and initiatives. I've been haphazardly pecking away at the old by cataloging everything in Google Notebook as time allows. But I don't have anything as organized as the proposed system.

There is also some fascinating stuff on goal setting in this book. It's all targeted at daily success and contradicts much of what I've read and done previously. The author recommends not setting big audacious goals. Instead set goals where you are sure to succeed every day. Do not plan to run 3 miles each morning. Instead plan to go outside each morning with your running clothes on. It is much more likely that the later goal will achieve success and motivate you to actually go out and run- even if not 3 miles. And truly any miles are better than zero miles. The way this is organized is all linked the reptilian vs. rational brain. I'm not sure that I agree fully with this theory but did see a lot of myself and my procrastination in his examples.

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