Work(s) in Progress

Short Takes

I think twitter and text messaging are training me to think and communicate in short bursts of thought.

I recently heard a DC journalist say that if you couldn't capture the audience with your story or message in 25 words they would just tune out. I'm not sure what that says about our nation's ability to maintain a meaningful dialog on complex topics.

I'm looking forward to Clay Lowe's book - A thousand bullets gone astray when I can get it in the USA.

I'm wondering when we begin to associate connotations with the images with see. My life was fairly uncensored as a child. And while I now view many images or situations as having a moral (good/bad) connotation, I know that early on that all images were neutral in my brain. Sunny day = Pithed Frog = Crucified Man = Sleeping Puppies. I don't know whether this is because I saw A Clockwork Orange when I was six or whether I was just a late bloomer in terms of developing empathy.

I was supposed to attend the annual GCEC (global consortium of entrepreneurship centers) meeting at Rice. The meeting program looked amazing. I had everything lined up. I'd even pre-printed my boarding pass for my flight. And then I drove myself to the Emergency Room at 2:30AM when I got slammed by the flu. Since I had an annual flu shot, it was perhaps H1N1. My local ER was no longer testing as the test results had no bearing on treatment - (just not cost effective). I'm not sure how this impacts the H1N1 maps you can find online. In my case 4 days of fever, mostly GI symptoms, 2 bags of IV saline and various medications. During the worst of it, I think I slept 36 hours during a 48 hour period. Not fun.

Today is the one year anniversary of the judge signing my divorce decree. It is also the one year anniversary of getting my tubes tied. Two major life changes in one day. No regrets.

Next week, I'm having Lasik  done. My heart is racing just thinking about it. It took me years to even work up the courage to switch from glasses to contact lenses. I did my evaluation visit yesterday (at Spivack) to see if I was a good candidate. Aside from dry eyes (it is Colorado), everything looks good. They have patient "counselors" who help with scheduling, financing and also hand-holding as I heard the doctor tell my counselor in a hushed voice "she is very frightened" as in "hold her hand but close the deal." There are two doctors at this office who do the Lasik surgeries. One is substantially cheaper. I understand wanting generic or discount on prescription drugs or routine doctor visits but on EYE SURGERY?! Give me the rockstar please.

I went to Get Motivated! again this year as I did in 2006. Unlike 2006, I did not attend the entire event. My assistant and I heard Robert Schuller, Laura Bush, Colin Powell (why I bought tickets), Phil Town (I love Rule #1), and Tamara Lowe (one of the founders of Get Motivated). While I remembered that the 2006 event had a "God Bless America" theme and "seemed to use some cult-like techniques to capture the audience" I did not remember all of the "take Jesus as your savior" rhetoric that occurred this year and caused me to leave.

Tamara Lowe has now written a book, Get Motivated!: Overcome Any Obstacle, Achieve Any Goal, and Accelerate Your Success with Motivational DNA, the focus of which she presented. It seemed like a useful tool for determining how to best motivate yourself and others. However, her presentation then veered into the surreal starting with a religious rap. To best share the experience, I will quote a review from Amazon.com " I was then teletransported to another dimension and I'm suddenly at a Christian Convention. A big old Jesus-fest. To the point that she asks us (if we want to to be anything in this world and not go to hell thereafter) to each silently affirm that we each need Jesus in our hearts and need to reconnect with our love for Him. Huh? I check my ticket and it is still proclaiming to be a business seminar. I look at my employee, who is Jewish, and she is staring painstakingly at the floor. I mouth, "I'm SO Sorry" and she gives me an uncomfortable nod. It made me pretty angry that at a business seminar with nationally acclaimed speakers, she would be so presumptive as to assume that the 10,000 people in the room not only agree with her beliefs, but cares what she thinks on the topic. It was a total insult to the professionals who follow other faiths or belief systems and mind their own business about it. No wonder half the world thinks we're arrogant and disrespectful of their religious beliefs." Yeah. What S/he said.

In spite of this, Laura Bush was charming, someone with whom you'd want to have tea or a glass of wine; Colin Powell was as inspiring as I'd remembered; and, I will most likely buy Phil Town's new book which is coming out in March 2010: Payback Time: Eight Steps to Outsmarting the System That Failed You and Getting Your Investments Back on Track.

I'm finally planning my trip to Hawaii. Smiling just thinking about it.

 

Coming up for air

I never thought the day would come that I felt like I was too busy to blog. I am not exactly certain what happened.

Fitness: I am holding steady at 13x and 23 to 24% (Omron) body fat. My most recent 3 mile run, at sea level, was done in 27 minutes, pretty much my fastest run ever. I can still run a 10K in about an hour. None of this is bad for a geeky 41 year old but I can do better.

Dating: I'd previously tried two free online dating sites (date hookup and plenty of fish) and went silent after my less than optimal experiences. In late spring, I decided to rework my profile, being very clear about what I was looking for, and put it back out there. I met the person who caused me to delete all of my online profiles on fitness singles (a paid site). I was completely and utterly swept off of my feet on May 16; hmm, last post occurring on May 12, could be related. We've been traveling a bit, check my flickr account for the sites we have seen in Carmel, Monterey, Big Sur, Bryce Canyon & Zion National Park.

Random: I keep getting invited to participate in things for which I cannot seem to say no: One last scientific review panel (autoimmune) for DOD; co-chairing a sub-committee on small business development and higher education for the economic development council of the Downtown Denver Partnership; co-chairing a sub-committee on Enterprise programs at the Business School for our annual strategic planning event; co-authoring what may be one of my last pure scientific research papers on work I started back in 2000; continuing on as a scientific collaborator for just a “few” more months; a strategic planning session for my friend's latest non-profit venture (Dani's foundation); and ironically, a few months back I sat on a panel for women in higher education administration about “Making Institutional Service part of YOUR Plan, or How to Say NO and When to Say YES.” I'm not so great at the NO.

Work: On top of those things for which I can't say no, work has been busy. We received 76 entries from across Colorado for our 8th Annual Business Plan Competition. We awarded our winners with a variety of cash and in-kind services from local businesses:

Olomomo Nut Company    1st Place $12,000

The Organic Dish    2nd Place $5,000

VibraLung, Inc.    3rd Place $2,500; Bioscience Award (Fitzsimons Redevelopment Authority& We Work for Health) $5,000; Bioscience Award (CoreLogic) $1,000

Also Energy  Finalist $1,000

Global CaféNation  Finalist $1,000; International Award (CIBER & the Institute for International Business) $1,000; Non-Profit Award (The Ward Family) $1,000

Western States Biopharmaceuticals  Finalist $1,000

Larry Nelson of w3w3.com took many terrific pictures at the awards luncheon for our competition. You can view them here (registration required).

Our finalists received a lot of press:

• Healthy Ideas Under One Roof

• Two Boulder Companies win

• Best of the Bard Center

• Nut Company Wins

• DU students take on the world

The Bard Center and our 2009 business plan winner(s) were also featured on KMGH-TV (ABC) channel 7 news. You can watch the segment here: Small businesses finding room to grow

We're already thinking about our 9th Annual Competition on June 10, 2010.

The founders of the Bard Center, Pamela & Richard Bard, recently co-produced a movie, Homecoming, starring Misha Barton & Jessica Stroup. There was a limited release in Denver at the Starz Film Center on the Auraria campus. I was honored to be able to attend opening night with the producers.

On August 1, Jung Park of Metroboom, the 2004 Business Plan Competition Winner, is hosted his annual Enthuse event, a unique social networking event incorporating fashion, music, dance, fine cuisine, & fundraising. I keep trying to get all of my advisory council members (well at least the men) to become customers. I love his custom shirts & suits.

We renovated our Center to better segregate our academic program from our incubator offices. Our renovated incubator spaceat the Bard Center has only 1 vacant office (320H). Our incubator is open to all early stage Colorado companies. Contact me if you are interested.

Our Bard Entrepreneurship Network (BEN) Meetups have grown up: cocktails & content. Join us August 26 at Elevated Third from 6 to 8PM. This month, Justin Perkins the CEO of Olomomo Nut Company & our 2009 Business Plan competition winner will be there to answer questions & let folks taste his products. Jim Kirchheimer, the Director for Economic Development for the Downtown Denver Partnership (DDP) will be there to talk about the benefits of membership and the resources available at the DDP. RSVP: http://www.meetup.com/Bard-Entrepreneurship-Network-Meetup/

I'm always on the lookout for other opportunities for entrepreneurs in our community.

• Need $100,000 to start your company? The nationally run MillerCoors Urban Entrepreneurship Series is open to 21 to 35 year olds. http://millercoorsmues.com/

• My friend Stephen Miller launched a new clean tech incubator and is helping to bring the Clean Tech Open to Colorado. He gotten some great press: Local Clean Tech Incubator opensmore information at www.cleanlaunch.com

• Finally, biotech companies should consider attending or Consider presenting your company at the 1st Annual Rocky Mountain Life Science Investor Conference

Our business school orientation is going virtual. We’ve recorded a segment promoting the Bard Center which can be previewed below.

It's been a busy summer...

Digging out

My University finally closed yesterday at noon. By that time the main road between where I live and Denver had closed. I'm very glad I chose to work from home and was able to skip the commute. People I spoke with yesterday who were down town made it sound like they were not getting hit quite as hard as my neighborhood.

It looked like this from my front door for most of the day yesterday. This was taken at about 11AM yesterday - so about 4 hours into the snow storm.

 I dug out my driveway yesterday at about 2 PM. We probably got another 3 inches of snow between then and this morning. I'm glad I did. The snow was wet and heavy with about an inch of slush at the bottom. I'd estimate that we got about 12 inches of snow total. It difficult to be certain. We had very high winds so some areas had several feet and others just a few inches. My roof still has lots of snow while my neighbor's has none.

The sun is starting to come out. I love this about Colorado. By Monday I suspect there will be few signs of this storm, perhaps some very green grass.

Snow Day

Yesterday was sunny and in the 50's. Today the snow is coming. No one seems to know for certain how much snow we will get. Some areas are predicted to get 2 feet of snow in the next 24 hours. Others, like downtown Denver, should get 8 to 16 inches. I rescheduled all of my appointments for today and tomorrow before I left the office yesterday evening. My car can manage 8 inches of snow, maybe, but not 16.

I woke up to an automated emergency message from the University of Denver at 6 AM this morning. I still work at the University of Denver on the weekends so I am still in their alert system. It had not yet started snowing where I live. They phoned, emailed and text messaged me: "Snow Closure: Due to expected heavy snowfall, the University of Denver will be closed today."

Compare this with the notifications I have so far received from my employer, the University of Colorado Denver. They have also emailed and texted me. However, their message says "A Winter Storm warning is in effect today 3/26 for the Denver area. 8-16 inches of snow and 45mph gusts of wind are expected. For more info call 1-877-463-6070."

We also got an email telling us where to find closing information, should they decide to close later today.  Since the same information is on the public weblink I am pasting the information here "New number to call when severe weather hits: The University of Colorado Denver now will provide weather and other emergency-related information, as appropriate, on a toll-free phone line effective immediately. The number is 1-877-INFO-070 (or 1-877-463-6070). You'll want to make a note of this number. Take a minute now to program it into your cell or home phone for easy access when conditions develop that may affect UC Denver's Anschutz Medical Campus in Aurora or the Downtown Denver-Auraria Campus. When extreme winter weather conditions do develop, UC Denver's normal business operations can be affected. Students, faculty and staff should check local broadcast news media (television and radio) for announcements about closures or schedule adjustments. Information also will be available online at www.ucdenver.edu/alert. You should bookmark this for future reference. An email from “Emergency” will also be sent to all university mailboxes. Typically, decisions to close the campuses or delay start times is determined in time for the 6:00 A.M. news broadcasts however this depends on when the severe weather arrives.. 1-877-INFO-070 (or 1-877-463-6070) www.ucdenver.edu/alert Students, faculty and staff connected to the Downtown Denver Auraria Campus can also check for recorded updates on the Auraria line 303-556-2401. The safety of our students, faculty and staff is a top priority. When snow and icy conditions do develop, always use extreme caution to ensure you arrive safely."

All I see is white from my window. Working from home today. I'll post more photos as the snow deepens. It's pretty amazing seeing it come down. This photo was taken at 8 AM about 1 hour after it started snow.

Traveling Companion Needed

I went to the movie Yes Man at Christmas with friends. I do not normally go to movies of this kind, but I enjoyed it and think of it still. I find myself saying "yes" more often to things I intended to do eventually. I'm just doing them sooner. It's all part of my quest for Bliss and my realization that there is only now.

My friend Martha is always the executive director of some health related non-profit. This year it's Dani's Foundation which focuses on Ewing's Sarcoma.

Dani's Foundation recently held a fund raising dinner (video here) with several hundred silent auction items. I started the bidding on four items and 'won' two of them, both on my "to do eventually" list: 1 week at a bed and breakfast in Hawaiiand 3 nights in Napa Valley at the Meritage Resort- complete with airfare, limo tour, and wine train tour.  Side note: it's really a sign of our economy when the opening bid on items such as these are the winners.While there are some blackout dates, I essentially have until March 2010 to go on these journeys. People ask me when I'm going. I am not yet sure. I need to line up a traveling companion. While I can easily chill in Hawaii by myself for a week, I definitely want a wine loving traveling companion for Napa Valley. Let me know if you are interested...

For my birthday I finally got the Kindle 2. I'm currently reading Outlierson it, another book by Malcolm Gladwell. Like one of his prior books, Blink, I am utterly enjoying this book. I cannot overstate how much I am enjoying my Kindle: it's smaller than a trade paperback and with its Leather Cover is much, much sexier.

I did not achieve the 6-pack abs I wanted for my birthday. I have been working out regularly - 5 or 6 times a week. However, for every 350 calories I've been burning off per workout, I've probably been eating an extra 600 or so. So, yes, I'm stronger and faster but also heavier. Oops. For the most part, my clothes are still fitting but I'm up a few pounds that need to be shed to see the muscle underneath. I currently belong to two athletic clubs. I really need to decide which one to stick with going forward.

While I have not been writing much on-line (my offline writing is going strong), this has been an amazingly good month. My friend who had the stroke last fall, is now almost fully recovered and back at work.  To quote a physician friend of mine "Cathy I don't believe in miracles, but A's recovery is a true miracle." Indeed. I went to her welcome back party earlier this month. I've never seen so many delighted people at a work event such as this.

Work has been insanely busy, but in a great way. We opened our annual business plan competition to the entire state of Colorado, not just our University family. So far, we're getting terrific interest from the community. We've been filming our orientation sessions (feel free to watch the first one). If you are a local reader and know someone who is starting a company, please have him or her contact me. Executive summaries are due April 16th so it's not too late to participate. We award more than $100,000 in cash and in-kind awards to the winners. The CEO of one of our incubator companies has been working with me on my presentation skills. He used to do corporate training for public speaking among other things. Since I open each session, I will soon have ample video footage for him to review and critique. This is not exactly fun, but will eventually make me better.

Month 1 Update Goals 2009

Where did January go?

You know that it's been too long when your mom emails to find out why you have not been blogging. 

I have three major goals for 2009- improved fitness, learning Spanish and seeking out bliss.

While I have not been good at writing down my progress, I have been actively pursuing my goals.

Fitness - I joined the new LifeTime Fitness Center in my neighborhood. I have been meeting a friend there about 5 times a week. I have started swimming again. I'm getting stronger and faster. I'm not sure why I'm willing to drive about 10 miles to work out when I've had a membership to a gym about 2 block from my work that I rarely used. I think it's because I've had a friend who has consistently met me there, either mornings or evenings depending what will work for my schedule. Knowing someone is waiting or would be waiting helps me get there.  

I want to see my abs again this year. I'm close. I weighed and measured recently. I estimate I need to lose 5 or 6 measly pounds of fat to reach this goal.

Spanish- I have not made as much progress adding a new language. I did move the first 30 lessons from CD to iPod but that has not helped much.

Bliss - Ah the bliss. I think this must be my real goal for 2009. The bliss is everywhere. It's been a great month. Seeing my friend, who was in a coma for about a month after her stroke last fall, walk a few blocks to enjoy a meal at Chipotle with me. Having her talk about returning to work any day now. Going for my first motorcycle ride to the mountains with a good friend because it was sunny and 70 in January. Getting home before the snow blew in. Getting a massage; a facial; a manicure; a pedicure. Taking my very first ski lesson. Not falling. Sitting on an outdoor deck in the snow looking up on the mountains sharing conversation with a good friend over lunch. Connecting with someone who could become important. Having him cook dinner for me. Watching the people walk by on sunny days sharing conversation over coffee with good friends.

And, I finally have some closure on my home situation. My now ex-husband and I filed for divorce in July and promptly put our house on the market. Our divorce finalized in October. After 6 months, more than 54 showings, a price drop of 12.5% and no offers, my ex and I came to an agreement. Yesterday we met at the bank, transferred money to him and the title on the house to me. I cannot express how relieved I am to know that I can move my belonging out of the garage and into the house; that I can count on the house being locked when I get home; that I can leave the bed unmade from time to time; that I won't get 15 minutes warning to leave for 2 hours on Saturday mornings.

Short Notes

I love reading other people's blogs. I had a few things catch my attention this weekend.

(1) Scott Adams has an interesting post on practice that ended with this sentence. "It makes me wonder if the passion part of our brains will ever be manipulated by drugs so that passionless people get just enough OCD to obsessively practice something until they get good at it."

(2) Kyra has a wonderful post (rant) on health and fitness (and the obesity epidemic in the USA) on a budget which reminded me of Maggie's posts on frugal dieting and fitness. Truly, I can (and often do) spend more on meal than Maggie would spend on a week of healthy eating.

(3) Clay Lowe was interviewed and included in that interview was an amazing poem. I'm going to grab a snippet.

Her dreams have all gone to bed by Clay Lowe

The wind whispers between
raindrops of yesterday’s past
the memory of her last kiss
fades to black

She can see her happiness
stagger out the front door
into the arms of another
perfumed night

Her broken dreams have
all gone to bed haunted by
ghosts of lines left unsaid

...

go read the rest. And be sure to check out Clay's blog. I can't wait for his book to be published in March. I don't even normally like poetry but Clay's poems tend to resonate with me.

(4) I follow Ben Casnocha on Twitter and read his blog regularly. This tweet resonated with me today: "We unconsciously dislike / repel people in whom we see parts of ourselves that we cannot or do not want to accept. (DFW)"

I see this everyday and could not agree more. 

Christmas in Cozumel, part 2

I mentioned previously that my friend Chris and I planned to spend our Christmas holiday in Cozumel. I've known her for almost 20 years but it was the first time we've traveled together for fun. It was great to spend time with her.

I can only say wow. Our room was exactly as described, and then some. There were some oddities, like the rooms with no light bulbs and the toilet with the water turned off (we had 3 so it was not a hardship), but these were quickly repaired. I finally created a flickr account so you can browse all of the pictures here if you are interested.

I spent a lot of time sunning myself on our private deck or sitting in our private pool which had terrific views.

 

While we did normal vacation things like having a girl day at the spa or taking a boat trip to go snorkeling, my favorite activity might have been the meals.

 

What a great way to spend Christmas!

Merry Christmas

I'm one of those people who sends an annual Christmas letter to family. This is a slightly edited version of the one I sent this year.

December 2008

Dear Friends & Family,

2008 has been an eventful year both personally & professionally. I turned 40 and dove right into my midlife crisis complete with new career, convertible (VW Eos), Caribbean cruise, and divorce.

I’m almost one year into my new job as the Executive Director of the Bard Center for Entrepreneurship. While the job is incredibly different that what I’d imagined, I simply love it. 

I continue to run my Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis research lab on the weekends. People ask me all the time whether I regret my decision to leave science. I think it surprises both me and them that the answer remains no. My former boss at the University of Denver is taking over the project and making it his own. We’ve got about 6 more months to facilitate the transition and I know the work I started is in good hands.

This summer, I asked my husband for a divorce. It’s been as amicable as these things can be. Our divorce finalized in October. He kept the cats. We’re still trying to sell the house. Send me an email if you’d like to stay in touch with him and I will pass on his new contact information.

I went on my very first cruise in August with a bunch of magnificent women that I knew only from the internet. The picture is from the formal dinner. It was a wonderful time with amazing women (Irene, Maggie and Kyra) and their husbands.

 

Wishing you & yours a wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Tales of Internet Dating

Soon after I filed for divorce, I created on-line dating profiles at two free websites: Date Hookup and Plenty of Fish. Both profiles are currently hidden else I’d link to them for amusement. I have friends that met (and married) people on Match or E-harmony but I really did not want to have to pay to use a service when I was uncertain that I really wanted to date at this point. For the record, of these two free sites, Plenty of Fish seems to have many more users.

I can’t say that I ever really “dated” in the past. I tended to go from serious monogamous relationship to serious monogamous relationship. Indeed, back when I got divorced from husband #1 in 1999, I started dating husband #2 soon after the official paper work was filed, months before the divorce finalized. We did have 9 years together overall, so I can’t say that it was a mistake, but this time I want to browse a bit, window shop, to see what's out there.

This has been a fascinating experience. I’ve met a number of people for coffee – my preferred low pressure first meeting. Apparently the majority of time, the men, at least the ones I met, needed to send 10 to 100 initial contact notes to get even one reply. With one notable exception, every man I met with contacted me first. Many of them remarked on the high volume of messages they got from Russian or Romanian “Brides” or women just looking for an encounter, with any man (yikes!).

The first person I met was an ATF agent in town for the Democratic National Convention. He sent me his work email address (doj.gov) which made me feel much less scared about meeting a stranger. He was an incredibly nice and funny guy. We went on a few dinner dates but it seems like we’re meant to be friends. He’d send me really nice notes, but in person he seemed much more comfortable flirting with the waitresses than me. I don’t think he meant this as an insult; I just seemed to bring out his most formal and polite behavior. He doesn’t live in Colorado but we still email occasionally. I rate this as a great first experience – very good guy who I hope will meet someone who suits him perfectly.

My next outing was with an incredibly fit bilingual performance trainer. I really wanted to see him without his shirt on but never did get the chance. Between his work schedule (and mine) and his schedule with his kids, we only managed 3 one hour dates. We emailed for a bit but it was not meant to be. I think he will be terrific, for someone; the words that come to mind when I think of him are joyful, friendly, fit and vibrant.

I went on a few dates with a real estate appraiser. He was nice but my outings with him always left me feeling a bit sad. I always felt like the joy was getting sucked out of me whenever I was around him. I suspected from the first date that there was nothing there, but went on 3 more because he seemed nice. I learned to (mostly) trust my first impressions from meeting him.

I did go on one coffee date where there could have been a great professional fit. He was an advertising executive who specializes in biomedical devices and therapeutics. I checked his website and he does great work but overall the coffee was a fizzle. I never did follow up and neither did he. I may yet pass on his information to the CEO of my biotech company.

All of these men contacted me first. I spent the most time with the person I contacted, let’s call him the Pretender, after the TV show of that name (I loved that show!). I loved his on-line profile. We seemed to have many of the same interests. And, I confess, I loved his pictures. Date one was coffee, of course, but in this case 2.5 hours passed without me checking my watch. Since this never happens, I knew he was a winner! I have known him for about two months. We spent about 6 weeks, essentially inseparable. I either saw him or spoke with him daily. I introduced him to friends and colleagues. We spent Thanksgiving with his family and my friends. I was in serious like with this guy. And then, last week, I got an email from one of his brothers, who used Google to find me, who felt it was his moral duty to warn me about his brother. The brother gave me contact information for everyone in the family, even an ex-girlfriend, should I want to verify things from multiple sources. Everything that I thought I knew – from his name to his place of birth to his profession – all got turned upside down. After hours of conversation with his brother and several calls and emails from his mom, I cut off contact with him. And then I cried. The truth would have been fine if only he'd been willing to share it with me himself, from day one. The whole thing makes me sad.

And thus ends my tale of Internet dating. I’m done.

As you can see, there were a few people I went on three dates or more. If you trust the Internet, date 3 is the magic outing. You’ve got to be kidding me. In only one case did I get more than a handshake on date 3 - which was exactly right. Now men, that does not mean you should wait too long, as my good friend Chris O says, you might get banished to “Friendship Alcatraz” if you don’t make your intentions known (as in you should at least hug the girl!). But in my case, three dates, with a stranger, is nothing. I need more time to get to know someone and how I feel about them.

I learned from this experience that in the past everyone I previously got involved with I knew for months or years before becoming more intimate. The men I dated were either in school with me or were close friends of friends, etc. They’d already been vetted in some way. The experience with the Pretender has made me feel cautious, jaded. I had been hoping to keep my personal and professional lives separate but I no longer think that’s a good idea.

So, my friends, after I’ve basked in the sun in Cozumel over the holidays, I’m looking forward to your recommendations & referrals. I’m told women want too much, but really I’m looking for 3 things:

1. interesting & articulate

2. comfortable in his own skin

3. joyful (cup half full vs. half empty)

Sure there needs to be chemistry for the person to not be banished to Friendship Alcatraz but in the scheme of things it’s a short list. And, I can never have enough friends. Friendship Alcatraz should not be underrated. OK, there's a 4th item on the list: must tolerate (and ideally enjoy) my evening black tie and other events generally served up with the mystery chicken entree.