Work(s) in Progress

It's Official

In Colorado, the Decree of Dissolution of Marriage (aka Divorce decree) is a check the appropriate box document. It looks like the judge signed on schedule and accepted our separation agreement. This life changing form simply arrived quietly by US Postal Service today.

For those who wonder what it looks like, I've scanned both pages, removing only the header with names, court and case information.

 

and here is page 2.

And there ends seven years of marriage. My first husband and I (we divorced in 1999) have remained friends over the years. I hope that nine years from now I will be able to say the same about my second husband.  

Some things can't be undone

Some things can't be undone. I did two of them yesterday.

In theory, the judge signed my divorce decree yesterday. I suppose I could drive over to the county court house to check but USPS should deliver the signed copy of the decree in 5 to 7 days. I am still amazed that such a major life event can pass so very quietly, with no ceremony, no fanfare, and no need to appear in court for the process to complete. Ours has been an amicable divorce in the scheme of things. There are only a few things left to do based on our settlement agreement: sell the house & remove my ex from all of my insurance policies at work (decree needed for the latter). We've been doing home improvement projects on the weekends trying to make the house more likely to sell. Mostly it's been going smoothly but there are odd moments, like when the cashier at Home Depot wants to know whether we'd like to open a joint credit card account to save 10%. Um, no thank you. I find humor in these moments but I think it is harder for my ex. For this I am sorry.

The second thing required more action on my part, and certainly more ceremony. Yesterday I had my tubes tied - the official name for the procedure is a laproscopic tubal ligation (but they don't tie, they cauterize - this is forever). I was at the hospital by 6:30AM for check in. They rolled me into the operating room by 8:00AM, right on schedule. I woke up by 9:30 AM and was home before 11:00AM. The only external signs are two incision sites - one at belly button and one on pubic bone. Well those and my beach ball like belly.  No lifting, abdominal work or running for 4 weeks.  Yikes. Walking however has been blessed. I suspect I will be doing lots of walking. For now, it's more of a shuffle, so not just yet. My assistant from work was my driver and caretaker yesterday. She's the best. She's already had me check in this AM.  

Christmas in Cozumel

My best gal friend from graduate school and I are meeting in Cozumel for Christmas. We decided to splurge. This is the room description from our reservation.

ENJOY A CHILD FREE ENVIRONMENT IN OUR WELL APPOINTED LUXURIOUS 2 BEDROOM SUITE WITH A PRIVATE POOL (35 X 15 FT), A HUGE PRIVATE SOLARIUM, SPACIOUS LIVING AND DINING ROOM.

THESE SUITES ARE OVER 2,100 SQUARE FEET. EACH BEDROOM BOAST A KIND SIZE BED AND 32 INCH FLAT PANEL TELEVISION. THIS SUITE OFFERS SPECTACULAR VIEWS OF THE OCEAN AND POOL. GUEST BATH FEATURES WALK IN SHOWER, MARBLE VANITY TOP, AND PREMIUM BATH AMENITIES.

These suites are larger than my house (if you don't count the basement). Now granted it is supposed to be a "couples only" all-inclusive resort and we're not that kind of couple (not that there is anything wrong with that) but I think we will have a great time.

It felt great to buy my plane tickets! Frontier has a direct flight from Denver.

You can find us here.

Facing Fear

Yesterday I received an email that it was finally possible to visit my friend who had a stroke a few weeks ago. I had every intention of going to see her yesterday afternoon but I chickened out. While she has stabilized, I knew that she was still in the ICU and that they'd done a tracheostomy to assist her breathing and  a PEG so that she'd get enough nutrition. I really did not want to see my friend like this.

At the same time, I knew that if I kept procrastinating, that it was likely I'd never go see her, that my fear would grow each day I delayed.  

The last time I saw her (before today), we drove in my convertible to Starbucks. We could have walked, but we wanted to drive with the roof down. We chatted for hours over coffee.  She was so vibrant.

Today was different. They moved her yesterday to a long term care facility. It was nicer than I expected. It also did not smell nearly as bad as I'd feared. She was awake when I arrived. I have no idea whether she knows me anymore. I chatted with her husband for awhile. He was shocked by how many people had already come by. He said "I knew she was a good administrator, but I really had no idea..." I think we all love his wife. 

Apparently she has some control over her left side. She seemed to understand some of what we were talking about. But apparently the long term prognosis is uncertain. Will she talk again? Walk again? Be able to leave the hospital? Let alone, use her magnificent brain to solve problems again? All unknowns.

I hate situations over which I have no control, that I can't fix.  It made me so very sad to see her like that. I am crying still. Her husband is a very nice man. For that I am grateful. I dread going back but I know that I will. I really hope she pulls through.

I wish I thought of this

BKB Limited sends me regional race notices about once a month. Today I got an invitation to the Singles Mingle 5K run. This is a hoot. In the morning there is a 5K race. In the evening there is a cocktail party. Your race entry gets you free access to the evening event.

From their website:

9:00 AM: The SM5K is quite different from your typical road race. It’s an event designed to attract Denver’s active singles together in one place for a good cause and a full day of fun. The morning 5K run and walk will take place in Denver’s historic City Park.

6:00 PM to midnight: The day race is followed by an evening reception at the brand new Suite 200. This venue is located in Larimer Square downtown Denver. Come see what a million dollar renovation looks like and enjoy the VIP lounge which will be available for our event. A cash bar and complimentary hors d'oeuvres will be provided. The evening mingle is included in your race entry fee. If you want to bring a guest there will be a $15 charge with a portion going towards the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

I wish I thought of this. Running, cocktails, and donations to a good cause all in one. Neat.