Work(s) in Progress

In Search of Bliss

In keeping with my post yesterday that there is only now, this morning I went in search of some bliss.

I woke up with a migraine. Luckily I don't get them often. I am not a big fan of the throbbing head, light sensitivity and nausea. I had an early appointment for a facial with microdermabrasion at the Body & Sole Day Spa. I was feeling so poorly I considered canceling and sleeping some more. I'm glad I did not. Let's hear it for Elizabeth with the warm strong hands.

Thesignature facial starts with a back exfoliation, which the magnificent Elizabeth followed with a short massage. She has great hands. She also used a Clarisonic skin care brush during the cleaning. That was a new experience for me. I want one! It felt great. She moved onto the microderm (I love microderm as it makes my skin very soft for a few weeks), face, hands, arms and chest massage, and mask. By the time I left my migraine was GONE! Ah, bliss. Hope you find some today.

Only Now

I feel like the universe has been trying to send me a message. There are many ways to express that message: carpe diem, life is short, seize the moment, there is only today, tomorrow may never come, there is only now, just do it, impermanence, the only constant is change…

The unexpected stroke of a dear friend is on my mind. I was in Washington DC last week when I got the news. My flight had just landed when an email from her assistant popped up on my Blackberry. I remember sitting there on the plane, while others debarked, just crying. Two strokes, one hemorrhagic, fever, endocarditis, these do not combine for a good prognosis. I always think there is more time. Did she know how much she mattered to me, to the others she touched in her life? I cried for the potential loss to the universe of someone as special as she was. I hope that she will recover and yet I already feel the pain of the loss of her.

She was both mentor and friend to me. I have been truly blessed to have gotten to know her well over the past year.  I saw her as often as her schedule allowed, but it’s hard to get on the schedule of someone who works 12 hour days, 6 days a week. Luckily it was pretty easy to coerce her to leave the office on Sundays to grab a coffee and some conversation, at least every few weeks. I love her wonderful combination of warmth, experience, optimism, and pragmatism. She is still in the ICU with her prognosis uncertain. I don’t know if she will wake up from this.

While she is foremost in my mind, I see this message everywhere: My grandparents Alzheimer’s disease, the end stage renal failure of my uncle, my divorces, my mother planning to live on her own for the first time ever, and the fatal diseases that unexpectedly strike the loved ones of dear friends and colleagues.

I have a tendency to be focused on tomorrow: next week, next month, next year, next decade. I love to plan and build toward the future. It is very easy for me to be like my friend working long hours with no vacation, always thinking of the future and not today.

I was surprised by the depth of my grief and the tears I have already shed over the potential loss of my friend. I did not have many tears for my divorce, which worried me. I shared this and my underlying concern with a good friend.  My friend sent me the following philosophy that I am now sharing here:

...tears that one sheds for the unspeakable tragedies that befall any of us as humans, are the only ones worth shedding...not self pity or lamenting mistakes we may have made along our individual journeys...the true tragedy of life is that it can be taken from us at any time and that we may have not lived what time we had to our fullest...filled with passion for all things we love. 

I am blessed with some amazingly great and wise friends. There is only now.

Scientific Humor

A good friend of mine sent me this image today. Nature is one of the premiere scientific journals in the world, some would argue the #1 journal in which to publish. It is however based in Europe and not the US. I'm sure that when they placed the advertisement on the back cover, that they had no idea what would be on the front cover.

 

I was not the only one to notice. 

Go Dilbert

I'm a big fan of Scott Adams' blog. While I don't always "get" Dilbert, I do like to read about Scott's writings that go behind and beyond his work.

Scott recently paid for a survey of economists to assess their opinions on the ability of the two major US Presidential Candidates, Barack Obama and John McCain, to have a positive impact on the major economic challenges facing our country. You can learn more on CNN and Scott's blog.

A strong majority of economists are democratic, a fact which surprised me. Scott had the surveyed economists rate the major economic issues and then rank the presidential candidates with respect to those issues.

Education was #1. Let me say that again, Education was #1. I have always believed this in a very visceral way. If you want to change the world in the long term, education is the only answer. Clearly, I am not alone in this belief. The next key issues were Health care, International trade, Energy, Encouraging technology and innovation (let's hear it for Entrepreneurship! of course I am biased.), and the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (homeland security).

On these key issues, Barack Obama was the clear winner, except for International Trade. I found this to be funny since so many people around the world hope that Obama will become our next president (see e.g. this article). Of course, the entire survey is biased given that most of the economists are Democratic (and thus lean towards Obama); in spite of this limitation, I found the data very interesting.

 

Of course if you don't want to ponder the substantive issues (or data), watch this parody instead. As the fake Hillary challenges the media to grow a pair, so to do I offer mine. Get some.

I love Colorado

Tonight I was supposed to meet a friend to run the stairs at my local recreation center. He unfortunately had to cancel but I went anyway. There are at least 10 clumps of 10-12 stairs to the top.

The view from the top was magnificent. I love to run or walk around the soccer fields and lake.

Quiet

Lots on my mind, not much to say in public. I've been keeping a private journal recently. I got in the habit of writing but don't have much to share at the moment.

I met with a doctor this morning to discuss tubal ligation. When they called to schedule a surgery date, I learned that it will occur the day the judge is scheduled to sign my divorce decree. I don't believe in a higher power but I sometimes feel the universe is laughing.

I try to stay above the political fray on this blog. I will say that Sarah Palin scares me. I am a registered independent. I loved the idea of McCain in 2000. I was less certain for this year. His VP choice has made it very clear that Obama is the candidate for me. If you wonder why I am frightened, I can only say, watch this:

I have no words, just abject terror at the idea that she could be our nation's leader..

So, if you are looking for wonderful things to read:

I really enjoyed Brad Feld's recent post Simplify. The idea of the "sunk cost" was one of the most important ones I learned in Business School. I tend to apply it EVERYWHERE in my life.  

Julie Berg has completed yet another 100 Mile race with a truly inspiring race write up. Be sure to buy her magic blister repelling foot potion. I have been reading Julie's blog since about 2004. If her most recent race post inspires you, I encourage you to start at post #1. She is always surprised that people find her inspiring. She is quite simply amazing.

Christine Kane recently gave a speech at a college orientation. I loved her rant on "anything worth doing is worth doing badly." I especially LOVED this part:

"Sucking is highly under-rated. Sucking should be celebrated. Sucking teaches you that sucking is not the problem. Not trying at all is the problem. Trying to be cool is the problem. Worrying about what everyone thinks of you is the problem. "

Amen.

 

Boobs and more

I've now been blogging regularly over the last 4 years. It's given me an outlet for my half-formed thoughts. It's a place for me to collect random things that interest me around the Internet and to keep track of major events in my life. My life is currently in transition and I find there are so many things that I feel I should not write about, at least not in any meaningful way.

My soon-to-be ex moved out a few weeks ago. He took the cats. I miss them but not getting my eyeball licked (by one of the cats) at 3AM.

I joined an online dating site curious to see what dating at 40 would look like. Wow, has it been illuminating. Went for coffee with someone I met there. It was nice. It was also odd to do this when the paperwork on my divorce has not yet been signed by the judge. Of course I started dating my soon-to-be ex much sooner than this after the end of my first marriage.

It's odd having a house on the market. Each day when I leave I have to make sure that if I get a random call in the afternoon it's ready to show. No personal items anywhere. Not all of the Realtors lock the house up after they have been through. I hate that. Need to add more signs at the doors.

This morning I had a mammogram because I turned 40 this year. This triggered something in the Kaiser system that I now need these each year. I'd had one about 10 years ago at a posh imaging clinic in Cherry Creek - that was all about women, silk robes, hot tea, and comfort. This morning was boobs in a vice with a big guy manhandling said boobs to make decent images. Why does my male primary care physician need a women to come in if he's going to touch my breasts but the male X-ray tech can be with me all alone?

The care in HMO fascinates me. I'm healthy so I don't really mind the Grease Monkey approach to well care. I get that it is all algorithm based. It surprised me that they want to image my breasts (I can check these out) each year but have gone to once every three years on my cervix (pretty much hidden).  I'm sure there is a sound cost/risk reason for this but it seems pretty strange.

And speaking of those nether regions, did you know that you can relate the female orgasm ability to style of walking? Who knew. My friend, who used to be an editor for one of the premiere global science journals, sent me this link today. I'll quote from the link: "The results showed that the appropriately trained sexologists were able to correctly infer vaginal orgasm through watching the way the women walked over 80 percent of the time. " Fascinating. As I am about to go review a set of grants focused on a fatal disease, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lou Gehrig's disease), for federal funding, I can only ponder that someone FUNDED this study. Clearly these researchers have different priorities.