Work(s) in Progress

Some Like it Hot

I love the Internet. Truly.

I watch no television. None. We have cable modem but not cable TV. I will confess that I do watch TV on the computer. Many networks have made the last few episodes of some of their shows available online. I've watched Moonlight (not renewed; sigh. Great show. Lost like Firefly and Cupid), Bones(I first fell for David Boreanaz in Buffy the Vampire Slayer but he's much better here) Numb3rs (great math geekery to solve crimes), NCIS (I love Mark Harmon!), CSI-NY and CSI-Miami in this way.

But you can also find movies, free movies. I joined Jaman ages ago. Here you can find just about every foreign or independent film to enjoy for a very low price. Your first few rentals are free. But I also just discovered Hulu - granted your movie will be interrupted by commercials but they are FREE. I'm watching Some Like it Hot for free on my laptop while I reinstall Windows on my desktop.

I am an ant

I was chatting with my brother last night.

He told me the story of the Ant & the Grasshopper. It's an old Aesop fable that I'd never heard before.

Æsop. (Sixth century B.C.) Fables. The Harvard Classics. 1909–14. The Ant and the Grasshopper

IN a field one summer’s day a Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to its heart’s content. An Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn he was taking to the nest. 

 “Why not come and chat with me,” said the Grasshopper, “instead of toiling and moiling in that way?”

 “I am helping to lay up food for the winter,” said the Ant, “and recommend you to do the same.”

“Why bother about winter?” said the Grasshopper; “we have got plenty of food at present.” But the Ant went on its way and continued its toil. When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food, and found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing every day corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer.

Then the Grasshopper knew: “IT IS BEST TO PREPARE FOR THE DAYS OF NECESSITY.”

There are many other versions, each with their own spin, that can be found.

We have a grasshopper in the family but we are simply ants.

Even an ant's heart can break.

Aging ...

I'm feeling my age today. I've been sleeping with a mouth guard for the last year because my dentist threatened me that one of my front canine teeth would snap due to my clenching my teeth in my sleep. It's been surprisingly easy to sleep in a mouth guard. And more importantly, my gums have been growing back where they belong. Happy canines. However, even this protection could not overcome years of teeth grinding and ice chewing. Yesterday my back-most molar snapped in two while I was eating. I though I'd crunched on a chicken bone but it was mine. I don't dream often, but my nightmares always involved my teeth breaking. It's definitely not fun having a nightmare come true. 

I spent the morning at the dentist. Thank you Comfort Dental for getting me an appointment so quickly. Luckily, the break was above the gum. The filling and tooth root were still intact. I'm now sporting a temporary crown to be replaced with a permanent one on Friday the 13th. Prophetic?

Iron Man

I love seeing Marvel Comics made real, at least in general. I never did get into Spider-Man or the Fantastic Four but for the most part, I enjoy passing an afternoon immersed in the realm of superheros.

Iron Man may now be my favorite. Robert Downey Jr. Wow. What an amazing actor his is. I hate that so much of his life real was lost in jail to substance abuse. Why do we jail people who are hurting no one except perhaps themselves? He was amazing in Zodiac, a slow film with impeccable acting. Iron Man may have been made for him. An adult hero. Redemption of a flawed man. Hours later and I'm still reeling from it. This movie was made for my generation; AC/DC (Back in Black - opening scene) and Black Sabbath (Iron Man - last scene) framed this movie. Not coming to DVD soon enough. Might just be worth seeing twice in the theater. Hints of a sequel after the credits. I want more.

Perhaps the best thing about seeing movies in the theater is the previews. There are two more summer movies I'm looking forward to: The Incredible Hulk (Edward Norton! in a fun role?! with Liv Tyler? Awesome) and the newest Indiana Jones.

I love summer.

Healthy Organizations

If you have been reading here a long time, you know that I am a big fan of Steven M. Smith who I first discovered not quite a year ago when I was pondering some major organizational changes.

In response to my most recent post on What Not to Say, he left me a long and thought provoking comment that I thought was worth highlighting as a separate post.

Moving on to the broader issue of organizational culture, let me introduce you to the five freedoms that Virginia Satir believed created healthy organizations:

1. The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what should be, was, or will be
2. The freedom to say what you feel and think, instead of what you should
3. The freedom to feel what you feel, instead of what you ought
4. The freedom to ask for what you want, instead of always waiting for permission
5. The freedom to take risk on you own behalf, instead of choosing to be only "secure" and not rock the boat

If you want to stay healthy, I suggest you closely monitoring which freedoms you are sacrificing in order to fit into your organizational culture. How many of these freedoms are you sacrificing now? How is that working for you (how do you feel about making those sacrifices)? I think you have encountered the foreign element. Will you choose to maintain the status quo? During chaos, It helps me to remember that adults are children grown up, which gives me permission to play.

The first thing that struck me about this comment was "I want to work there." My second thought was "why the heck don't all organizations (or families) operate this way?" My third and perhaps more actionable thought was "how can I help my organization or at least my little piece of our organization embrace these values?"

Steven M. Smith is coming to Denver for the Virginia Satir Global Network 2008 World Conference. While I don't know that I can attend the whole conference, you can be certain that I'll be signing up for his session on Experiencing the Satir Change Model.

What not to say

One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is what not to say.

I default to candid. If you ask, my first instinct is to answer as truthfully and completely as I can.

• Some people appreciate this - you will always know where you stand with me.
• Some people abhor this - they really do not want to know.
• Some people try to exploit this - they probe and query trying to get me to leak confidential information or to say something unprofessional that can be used by them later. Heck I can even know they are the enemy (or at least not my friend) and my gut instinct is still to be honest and candid. I can just see it...why hello mr. rapist, yes indeed my husband won't be home for hours.

Bottom line, my gut response is not appropriate at least two thirds of the time, most likely more. There are traits and habits than can become detriments over time. This is one for me and it was hammered home forcefully this week.

Case #1 - In a meeting earlier this week, I added too much value. I know not to do this but when push came to shove I could not keep my mouth shut. My mentor pulled me aside after this meeting to remind me of this rule. Listen. Thank. Implement (or in this case, go forward with what we already had planned letting this person think they fostered it).  Oops. Major oops.

Case #2 - Person in position of power had a chat with me recently about things to not say, to not even think. I can work on the not saying. The not thinking is unlikely. Things pop into my brain all of the time that are not appropriate. I can refrain from speaking them. I might even be able to dig up some appropriate politeness words at the right times. My brain however could well be playing a discordant sound track. How do you not even think stuff?

Must be why I love the refrain in the song by Staind "Outside."

I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you

Please don't ask what crosses my mind. Not always pretty. Please judge me by my actions.

Case #3 - Friend sent me this image today. Timely advice that I will try to follow in the coming days. Wish me luck!